I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
