i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
