problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
