you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
