don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize