I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
