Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
