So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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