apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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