What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
