yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize