Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
