Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
