Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
