I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Enjoy the penises
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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