she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
vagina is talking i cant
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize