no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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