Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
