Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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