i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
