His apartment number was 69. I had to.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
