i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
