Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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