i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
