so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
