dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Randomize
