This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
3 2 1 whiskey
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
