That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
