I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
