I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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