what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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