is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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