I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
