I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Sober January is a disaster.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
My ass is underappreciated
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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