sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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