I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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