She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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