Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
