He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
