I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
