idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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