Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
