so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
