So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
So much rum. So many feels.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
