You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
