is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
