i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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