She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
