I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
