Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
