I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
