I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
He is an equal opportunity slut.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
