I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Randomize
