Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
operation have a gay friend backfired
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
