he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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