As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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