Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
